pot.kettle.black.

kids don't stand a chance!

2008-12-09T23:44:00.001Z

Chromeo back in top form!

Would madonna bang this now?

2008-10-15T22:35:00.006+01:00

Would the queen of pop still bang this?

In another of our semi regular celebrity downfall features, I'm saddened to have to bring you Britney Spears. Just when the world thought she had got it together again and stopped shaving off her hair like some futuro-nazi LEZBN from the future, she's gone and taken us all for surprise.

I'm especially distraught at this news. As a big fan of oxycontin, vicodin, benniez (I BENYLIN) and vodka, I thought this diet might make me HOT to members of the opposite sex. However, it appears that it might actually make me HOT to those wishing to sell me kebabs, chips and doughnuts. Does this mean I will end up just like her? What if that happens? Or will I stay the same while she fashions out a career in oversized porn and in trailer baby production with her iced coffee hamburger sister Jamie Lynn? Maye she could join in with Rick Moranis and form the Hollywood Barbie and Ken society?

Cryptonites are really rather good.

2008-10-07T00:17:00.014+01:00

you in the sunglasses, are you vibing the pet shop boys? or maybe craig from hollyoaks?

oh wait, is that you super hans?

as for his lady friend - the hair, the hair. yeah, we get it, you're soooo beautiful that even a mullet can't sully your perfection.

euro-mullets on girls are like wearing a massive sign on your head saying "i think i'm incredibly beautiful." everyone with those haircuts thinks they are the shit. what do they want, a freakin medal???

but she's saying,

"i'll take your coke, party, fuck you, fuck you about, fuck your mate, fuck your head and fuck off....after enough time for you to <3> me."

and some guys really dig that. plus, their musical steeze are really rather good.

check out this cryptonites banger:
hands of god

Hey you guuu-uuuys

2008-10-06T23:55:00.005+01:00

this blipster is at a WESC/nylon magazine party, but surely the goonies nostalgia is just a little too predictable and OVERDONE to justify his invitation to the party?

the "baby got back" dance pose? what is he tryng to say here?

"i'm a mover, shaker, straight up baby maker. But i'm sensitive and down with ALTernative culture."

however, had the t shirt simply said "hey you guys" in a pink speech bubble, it would have been acceptable, as it would have marked him out as a FGGT.

polly pocket punks

2008-10-06T22:31:00.007+01:00

these tiny little ladies are just like real people! they sing, they dance, they rock out, and they fit right in your pocket! hurry while stocks last. gwen stefani has already put in a bulk order.

srsly though, they're called spookey and they are awesome. check them.

peaches and daisy, the glasgow years.

2008-10-06T22:27:00.005+01:00

Ever wonder what Peaches Geldof and Daisy Lowe might look like if their daddies were accountants from Newton Mearns rather than second-rate rock stars, and they frequented the unders at the Garage rather than the Old Blue Last?

Queen of Hearts

2008-10-06T22:01:00.004+01:00

Meet the First Lady of Cameroon...

If the theory that all people start to look like their pets stands, this bitch must OWN half the lions in Africa. She's the Queen of the jungle. And no doubt many many hearts.

You probably don't like her much. But maybe you're just intimidated by strong women.

Or maybe it's the corruption endemic in African countries coupled with her yearly spend on conditioner for that weave pitted against the stifled potential of the continent and the poverty of its people that you don't like?

Biggie Biggie Biggie can't you see?

2008-10-02T23:43:00.002+01:00

HYPNTZD.

Sometimes your words just hypnotise me.

Doncha just know biggie's feelin' it...

More sad news

2008-10-02T22:52:00.003+01:00

As Rick Moranis taught us, it's always difficult to see our idols fallen on tough times, but is it even more depressing to see those who played a minor role in developing our cultural norms when they start to hit the crack pipe? Or does it hurt less when they're only minor players in the great game? What about the tragedy of a life thinking "what if..?"

"What if I.....?"

I almost shed a tear when I saw this pic of the star of hit hollywood coming of age "comedy" Road Trip, now reduced to pissing his pants outside low rent Parisian nightspots. For an actor, that must be the highest compliment.

I'm not even going to start on what's happened to a tribe called quest.

2008-10-02T00:21:00.002+01:00

A threadless t shirt worth blogging about?

The first one in a while to stand out, beyond the 6th year art projects that usually clog it up. Maybe they're busy doing other things.

How's that folio coming along? Oh, it's not? Oh, your on myspaz instead, pretending to be 20? Really? Are you, post-postmodern about it though? You are? That's an A! A+ A+. Will you be out at club noir this weekend?

Rick Moranis, a salutary lesson.

2008-10-01T23:57:00.005+01:00

the life and times of a crunchy nut monster.

Is it sad when erstwhile heroes from our childhood are exposed as drug fiends? Is it sad when erstwhile "not that guy again"s from our childhood are exposed as spun out sex fiends? I'm not sure, everyone has the right to live their own life, but equally, it hurts our ten year old self when Corey Haim is tripping out on sunset boulevard and Will Smith is shooting more than just some B-Ball outsida the school.* So Imagine the trauma of discovering the real Rick Moranis. Well, the innner ten year old was pretty cut up. Why has he got a barbie in his hair? But then I realised I was at death disco the other week. If I'd seen him I'd have probably thought about buying him a drink.

*disclaimer. I think he may have been shooting a film. But this mainstreamer attitude is a majah disappointment to those who grew up on his distinct brand of anti-authoritarianism. Hell, I even wrote the word "fuck" in the guestbook at my grandad's golf club in homage to a grafitti scene in fresh prince.